HomeSource pp. 14–29

A Family of Faith — The Marks of a Spiritually Healthy Family

Pursuit weeks

Messages for the Perfecting of Parents — "Home" Series

Message Two

This time the perfecting is weighted toward application and experience; the main point is how to bring these fellowshipped words into our family life. As mentioned, the topic is A Family of Faith. Our home is a family of faith, just as both Old and New Testaments speak of "a family of faith." The difference between us and the men of the world is faith. When others see our home, what they see is faith — and faith becomes the mark of this household. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."

Today, the men of the world all pursue material things, but our home pursues the things in the realm of the divine mystery; the men of the world pursue today's needs, but our home pursues the things hoped for; the men of the world pursue visible enjoyments, but we pursue that unseen city. The men of the world, on the earth, look at this confused society and look upon men, while we are joyful for the divine economy; every house frets at the world and is mad with worry, while we celebrate the jubilee of the Lord's coming. We and the men of the world feel altogether differently. Don't you sense that your house and other people's houses are not the same? When others look at your home, what do they see? Apart from a little more knowledge, a slightly better position, or a touch more wealth — when they look in on this family, what do they see? We ask the Lord to give us a unique mark: our home is a family of faith. All our manifestations, all our marks, are this — that we are filled with faith: filled with faith toward our Lord, filled with faith toward the coming kingdom, filled with faith toward the New Jerusalem, yet without any hope in this world and without the slightest reliance on it. Brothers and sisters, we are a family of faith — and this is our first mark.

If our home is a family of faith, full of faith and full of grasp of the Lord, then we must go on to ask: our grasp, our faith — what does it look like, in six dimensions? — these are precisely the dimensions a healthy family ought to have. As we fellowship here, you will need to see whether your home has these points. We must see — though not all points can be fully attained, what God's heart desires is to build up the home. God's intent is for the whole household to love Him, the whole household to serve Him, the whole household to practice the vital group.

In the Scriptures, our family is called "a family of faith" — distinct from "the unbelieving" household, distinct from "the sinful" household, distinct from "the natural" household. We who belong to God, this household of ours, is called by Paul "a family of faith." That is, in our home there is one greatest characteristic — we have faith. Not just that we behave well, not just that we are kind; the greatest mark we give to others is that we have faith. We have Christ as the center of our building up; we have Christ as the goal of what we build — our home is a family of faith.

This family of faith is a family of faith — and within this household are filled the treasures the Lord has placed in it: filled with the praise and song of unseen things. If the neighbors cannot discover in our home a household full of joy, full of praise of the unseen Lord, full of thanksgiving, then our home does not yet measure up to God's hope. Remember: our home is not just a moral home, not a Confucian-mores home, not an orthodox-tradition home — we are a family of faith. In our living:

our home takes Christ as Head and as Center;
our home takes the church as our life;
our home takes the cross as the secret;
our home takes God's economy as the goal;
our home devotes itself to serve the saints;
our home takes the vital group as the commission.

These six points are the marks of our family of faith — the marks of its spiritual health.

I. With Christ as Head and as Center

1. With Christ as Head and as Center

Almost every home hangs out the placard "Christ is the Lord of this home," but the great majority of these placards are simply hung up there in isolation — there is rarely a corresponding fellowship in spirit. The placard is up; it's just so many words; what still wins is whose voice is louder. This world is like the day they crucified the Lord Jesus: it is his voice that won. In a home today, if your voice is not loud, you can hardly get what you want. Why do men go on demonstrations? — to make their voice heard. Likewise in a household, often whoever's voice is biggest has the most authority. But we truly know — the most glorious family is the one with Christ as Head and as Center. If our home can see "Christ is the Head" — that is beautiful; and at the same time, we see that we ourselves are not the head, and that to push our own head up is dangerous. In all things, "Christ is the Lord of my home" — so whatever happens, ask the Lord first. See what He says, what Scripture says, what His word says, what His mind says, what the Life-Study says. If you can do this, then for almost everything you take Christ as Head; not only as Head — also as your blessing, your supply, your source.

Many believed in the Lord, on the one hand giving thanks, on the other hand grumbling: "Lord, only now do I see how everything is under Your arrangement." Some children grumble: "You actually gave me a father like this, a husband like this, a wife like this." Some children also grumble: "How could You give me a daddy like this!" Some parents grumble: "Why did You give me children like these?" Some couples say: "We aren't this strange — how could we have given birth to so strange a child? It must be that the Lord is dealing with us!" But you must know that He is the source of blessing. If you are constantly in the Lord: "Lord, thank You — to be given this husband is my blessing." "Lord, thank You — to be given this good wife is my blessing." In fact, the Lord will accomplish for you exactly what you have spoken. Do you believe?

For the children the Lord has given you, give thanks to Him. He is the source of blessing; He is the source of supply. Do not be afraid! From the outside in — how have our children grown up? They have grown up under the Lord's blessing and supply. Which child has never met danger? Which child has never gone through some odd ordeal? Which child has never tumbled down a flight of stairs? The Lord is the source of protection. That your child is able to grow — that is His blessing. That your child can be saved — that is His blessing. To learn, in our own selves, to look up to the Lord's blessing — this is the basic attitude we ought to have.

Have we given thanks to the Lord for the other half He has given us? I am, deep in my heart, very thankful to the Lord — though here I cannot say too much; I really do thank the Lord, and at the same time I give thanks for the children. Don't say, "They are so good — of course you give thanks." Whether they are good or not, only the Lord knows. Raising a child is six years of physical labor at the start, twelve years of mental labor in the middle, and four years of labor in spirit at the end — and finally we hope to commit them into the Lord's training, that they may serve the Lord well.

In any case, raising children is no simple matter. But to see them give thanks to the Lord, we must also commit them into the hand of the One who blesses, the hand of the One who supplies. We are not the source of the blessing — but we ought to be the channel of the seeding. To borrow Brother Nee's word: "The Chinese say there are no parents in the wrong; but I say there are no parents who are not in the wrong." Listen to that — parents must know: there are no parents who are not in the wrong. If "I" am the source of all blessing, then this child is in trouble. We must trust the Lord to be their source of blessing, their source of supply: "Lord, we are not the source — we are the channel; Lord, may this channel be unblocked, that You might bring all the love and the blessing to flow to the children."

Many times in the home, exercise to lift up the Lord's name and let the Lord receive praise. When the children say, "Bother! It's raining again," you should say: "Lord, praise You — the rain You made." Train the children to know that the source of blessing and supply is the Lord; do not train them to revile the heavens, do not at the drop of a hat curse against the Lord. They do not realize that when they curse the rain, they curse the Lord Jesus. Tell the children: "He sends rain from heaven, gives fruitful seasons, satisfying men with food. He makes His sun rise on the good and the evil; He sends rain on the just and the unjust. All is from Him. If Taiwan went half a year without rain, that would be trouble. No rain is a sign of curse — but thank the Lord, we take Him as all our supply, the source of blessing."

We must also lift up the Lord, that He may become the influence in this home. We must learn to be filled with Him; learn to use psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, so that what others hear coming out of this home is hymns, is prayer, is looking up to the Lord, is Scripture reading — not the sound of breaking dishes, not the voice of macho men threatening, not the sound of mothers being beaten. Realize that the neighbors hear all these sounds. I wonder, what does your neighbor hear? He is the source of blessing and supply; He is the One we should praise, lift up, and give glory to.

Last — when any problem arises, husband and wife, on account of differing concepts, will inevitably have some contention; but it is best that, when contention is at a deadlock, when our hearts begin to smoke, we begin to pray. Please try this exercise — it is a great rescue. Whatever you do, when the contention is locked, do not start dredging up old accounts. "From before, you so and so..." — what is needed is prayer together. He is the Head; problems we cannot solve, we go to Him.

How often, when we have prayed together, we both let go. Once we let go and look again, the problem becomes very easy to solve. For under heaven there are not two persons exactly alike — both have different concepts, different views. So what is to be done? Who is right? Actually we don't know who is right; only that both are wrong — because the tree of the knowledge of good and evil judges that both are wrong. To insist on your rightness, to clutch at your rightness, leads to a dead end. Who is right? Christ is most right. What is most right? Having Christ is right.

2. In all things, take the Christ of God as the source of blessing and supply

I have come to feel, in everything — whether good things or bad, whether large or small — we need to take the Christ of God as the source of blessing and supply. Often, when good things befall us, we give thanks to the Lord; it is His blessing, His supply. But when bad things come, we very easily fail to thank Him. This word tells us: in all things, take the Christ of God as the source of blessing and supply.

This summer past, many of the children went through their college and high-school entrance exams. Some of the saints' children were admitted; certainly we thank the Lord and give Him glory. But for those whose children were not admitted, we still need to thank the Lord, and we still need to experience His strengthening supply. Furthermore, in this very process, we ought to pray to the Lord: "Lord, in me, You must increase, I must decrease." We need such a prayer, that these saints may be strengthened anew, and continue to press on. In every matter, we need to take the Christ of God as the source of blessing and supply.

3. Only when the whole family is filled in spirit, giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father, can there be healthy family relationships — Eph. 5:18–21

Eph. 5:18 — And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissoluteness, but be filled in spirit, Eph. 5:19 — Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and psalming with your heart to the Lord, Eph. 5:20 — Giving thanks at all times for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to our God and Father, Eph. 5:21 — Being subject to one another in the fear of Christ:

From Ephesians 5:18 to 21 we see that, in family life, we need to be filled in spirit — only then will there be the proper, normal ethical relationship between husband and wife. The more you are filled in spirit, the sweeter, more abundant, more uplifting the marital life. Verse 21 then says: "Being subject to one another in the fear of Christ." So clearly there must first be the prior being filled in spirit; only then can we be brought into a normal ethical relationship. Whether between husband and wife, or between parents and children, the secret of having a normal ethical relationship lies in this: we need to be filled in spirit.

4. Whenever any problem arises, just take Christ as Head, looking to Him to lead and to decide — and we will surely be blessed

If we say our home takes Christ as Head and as Center, then when matters come we should not deal with them by ourselves; rather, we must learn to take Christ as Head and look to Him to help us deal. Recently my son started school — he is in the middle class of preschool — and this child is on the lively side, so his showing at school is correspondingly more active. Because the teacher had changed, and the new teacher tended to favor the calmer children, my child being more energetic was singled out: he was constantly punished, made to jump and jump and jump, or had tape stuck across his mouth.

Children usually do not tell their parents these kinds of things — unless the punishment is very severe, or something unusual happens. So when our child fellowshipped with us about it, we became extremely angry: this kind of punishment seemed quite unreasonable, and rather inappropriate. My first reaction was — I want to telephone the teacher right now and confront her. But if I had acted on that impulse, things might have gone from bad to worse. So my sister-wife and I quietly prayed, learning to take Christ as Head, learning to experience the cross — laying aside these debates and disputes; not daring to take any action — only waiting on the Lord's leading, that we and the teacher might have an appropriate communication.

In that process, I had to experience the laying down of self, and that really is a refining. Thanks be to the Lord — through this I came to enjoy the dispensing of the Triune God, to experience the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. When we quietly prayed, willing to lay down, and sought a fitting time to communicate with the teacher, the teacher likewise learned to appreciate the new creation in this child — and the matter was resolved most fully. We see — when matters arise, we need to look up to Him to lead, to decide — this truly is a blessed secret.

5. Pray · Research · Memorize · Speak is the excellent way for the whole family to be filled with Christ and built up in Christ

In the Old Testament, "pray, research, memorize, speak" was something designed for the home. Moses told the children of Israel: "All that God has commanded you — that is, the most important words of the entire Old Testament — must be laid up on your heart, and you must diligently teach them to your sons and daughters. In the course of this teaching, whether you sit at home, walk by the way, lie down, or rise up — you shall talk of them" (cf. Deut. 6:6–7).

I really do encourage brothers and sisters: practice sharing Christ at home. We are well used to sharing Christ in front of a crowd, in the small group; but for husband and wife eating together at home, to suddenly say "The Lord Jesus is so lovely" — this is not so familiar. Some husbands may say: "Wife, don't bring this stuff in here! That's for the meeting hall, not for at home — what you're saying sounds so soppy!" For everyone who feels this is soppy, we need yet another round of practice — I have practiced this. "Lord, satisfied with all loveliness — yet Christ is most lovely." The hymn at our wedding was "The Most Beautiful Jesus," and through these years I have come to see: my sister-wife is lovely indeed — yet I declare: "Christ is most lovely." If we line them up in order, my sister sets the highest, but in her eyes I'm probably about fourth; for the Lord Jesus is greatest, then the son, then the daughter, then me. In any case, in our home, Christ is the greatest.

II. With the Church as Our Home

1. The true home is the church — where there is the Father, the Son, the Spirit as Comforter, spiritual fathers, cherishing mothers, and the brothers and sisters in the church

In 1 John 2:13–14, John the elder, writing to the fathers, says, "You know Him who is from the beginning." Writing to the young men, he says, "You have overcome the evil one." Writing to the little children, he says, "You know the Father." In a spiritually healthy household there are three classes of persons: the first class is the fathers — they are stable and unshakable; the second class is the young men — they are those who have overcome the evil one, who have overcome Satan, and so they are overcomers; the third class is the little children — in everything they may come to ask the elders. Therefore we see in this home a spiritual father, a cherishing mother, brothers and sisters — the three classes of this household are all most important; not one ring may be missing — every ring is most important. Since we see that the home is so important, then we must take the church as our home: in every place, considering whatever the church needs, putting our share to fill in whatever the church lacks.

These six marks are not for your individual self. When you were still single, you very easily cried out: "The church is my home!" But once you have a family, that's not so certain. Yet I declare: "The church is my home; it is the true home; it is the real anchorage of our couple and children. The church is where our whole family really invests itself." The Chinese describe it: "Under a falling nest, no eggs remain whole." Under a country in collapse, no household will be healthy and joyful. In the same way, without a healthy church, our home will, however hard it tries, never be joyful. Thank the Lord — the church is our home, and our home is also willing to open up, gladly welcoming the saints to gather in joyful fellowship in our home.

Of course, opening up to let the saints come, inevitably at times, brings constraint and limit. In these seventeen years of marriage, even just my own dressing at home has had to go through death and resurrection. Sometimes when the weather is hot — how could I not want to put on shorts? — but the church is my home, the saints are my family, so I must exercise to receive limits. Practice and practice — there really is blessing — because being constrained at every turn means there is at every turn the opportunity to live Christ.

The church really is our joy and satisfaction. From the very day my home was wed, we received the laying-on of hands, and from that beginning we consecrated to Christ and to the church, and have been willing to take the church as our home. Whatever joys or whatever difficulties, we want to lay them in the church — because the church is our home. Is the church your home? Is it the home of your couple? When you hear that someone's house is decorated very elegantly and comfortably, do you ever consider: and how should we decorate the meeting hall? Or do you say, "The sofa at home has two holes, and the recyclers won't come — better just ask the meeting hall: do they need me to consecrate one sofa? Sure, it has two holes — but it really is my heart of love." (I'm putting it sharply, but I dare ask: would you actually buy a brand-new sofa to consecrate to the church, and patch up the old sofa for yourself? — that is not easy.)

Brothers and sisters, if the church is our home, then the meeting hall's furnishings should be more elegant than my home, more comfortable than my home, more like God's house than my home. If at home there are good things — what we really need to keep at home, of course we keep — but ought we not be willing to let our home be a little less comfortable, in order to let the saints feel the meeting hall is comfortable? Our home may be a touch smaller, no matter — but remember, the living room must be a touch larger, so that when the saints come they can gather joyfully. If the living room is too small and the kitchen too large — three rolls and you still can't roll out, while in a small living room everyone is squeezed shoulder to shoulder — we should reconsider the design. Because the church should be what our hearts most love; what we most love to be involved in; where we most love to invest ourselves.

2. The church is God's house — our covering, our protection, our reliance, our support

Without the church as our home, we have no covering, no protection, no reliance, and no support. Recently a couple of brother and sister was about to be married — they first went to the church, asking the church with all its strength to support them; not only in administrative matters but also in spiritual matters; that they might be a beautiful testimony, that their relatives and friends might come to believe this Lord — and so the church became their best support. Therefore, we must learn — whatever the difficulty, whatever the need, tell the church. In this way the church becomes our best support, and our best supply.

3. Until God's house is built up, God has no rest, and my house cannot be satisfied

The church, the house of God, must be built up. We earnestly hope brothers and sisters will have more interest in the Lord's word, more thirst for the word of the ministry, and a greater longing that the brothers and sisters may all use their organic function, coming together to build up the church, that the Body of Christ may be built up. When God's house is built up, our own house will also be a harmonious household. Therefore our home must care for the church.

III. With the Cross as the Secret

The third mark is to take the cross as the secret. Between husband and wife, do we have this silent Christ as our center? In husband-and-wife life, the unique secret is the cross.

Some of the problems between husband and wife are usually because "we are too familiar." How easily, because of being too familiar, do we lose mutual respect; how easily, because of being too familiar, do we raise the voice a little louder and wound the other; how easily, because of being too familiar, do we say words that belittle; how easily, because of being too familiar, do we make mocking gestures; how easily, because of being too familiar, do we contend over little things and refuse to defer. Brothers and sisters, this kind of situation very easily brings in death. We must see — the building up rests on the killing work of the cross.

When the Lord was on the cross, He had already abolished the law of commandments in ordinances. Today, what we need is to apply the cross of Christ. The first secret of this application is "confessing to one another." But we always think "the other" must confess, while "this one" — that is, I — does not need to confess, because "this one" is right. So here it is best to say: "I" must confess.

Brothers and sisters, we can almost say it is impossible never to have offended the other. Even if you are the best husband under heaven who has never scolded anyone, you have not failed to offend in the matter of real love. Because without Christ there is no real building up, no real love. So what shall we do? You may say: "I am simply a man without Christ!" But at the very least we must have Christ in the light, must have the light of the Lord — and many times we must consider ourselves at fault. We must confess for our "loud voice," confess for our "neglect," confess for our "opinions," for our "contendings" — and beyond this, we must experience the silent Christ.

James has a fine word: "quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19). That is right — in everything at home, "slow it down a bit." When you would command your spouse — slow down a bit; when you would rebuke your spouse — slow down a bit. Two minutes' slower will not kill anybody for one second; the couple just slows down a hair. Because with the people we are most familiar with we are most loose-tongued; we just casually say, "Why are you like this today?" "Is dinner ready or not? Don't you know I'm exhausted today?" "What's wrong with you? Why is the room such a mess?" But no one walks into the meeting hall and says, "Why is this hall such a mess?" — everyone knows that place is awesome. Of course, this exercise I'm offering may not be the best path — but it surely is not wrong.

If you can practice this — slow down, wait, first call on the Lord and then speak, wait again, let the heat of anger subside a little, then look to see what the Lord says — you will be blessed. Many traffic accidents happen on account of being one step too fast, and many household disasters likewise — being one step too fast, missing that one second, and the couple collides. Slow by one step and the sky is wide open — believe me. You may say: "I cannot bear it!" Then you might as well go to the bathroom and wash your hands; and there call on the Lord. I used to practice this exercise. Anger rising the whole way, the more I think the angrier I get — until I'd refuse to speak; then I'd go to the bathroom to wash my hands — wash a long time — calling on the Lord inside: "Mmm! Lord ah, Lord Jesus." Then drying off the hands: "Oh! Lord, Amen." Resurrected — come back out, and again a God-man. Although I do not have Brother Lee's ability to be in spirit instantly, thank the Lord, I still have a bathroom as my hiding place; of course, I needn't hide too long. My point isn't about the bathroom — it's about slowing down and calling on the Lord.

Today, when we learn to experience the small-voiced Christ, in the future we will experience the silent Christ. Everyone who has been enlightened — his voice is quieter than last year. The children all know — what's happened to dad? his voice has gotten smaller — it isn't as loud as it used to be. Allow me to ask: "Brothers, is your voice this year louder than last year? Or is it smaller?" If you say, "Trouble! Mine is just as loud," then I must ask: "And inside? — is the inner rebuke stronger than before?" If yes, you have salvation. If the voice is just as loud and the rebuke inside is no stronger either — I'm afraid you may need to fast and pray.

In husband-and-wife life there really is only one secret: the cross. The cross is not painful; whoever feels it as pain has not truly taken up the cross. The cross is not pain — it is killing; once killed, there is no feeling left. I remember when my sister-wife and I had just begun courtship: it was not long before we discovered, our concepts on this and that did not always agree. Don't think we are some immortal couple — there is no such couple under heaven; every couple has to be ground together. Whenever we had a contention, my sister-wife usually said: "Alright, let's pray!" And then we'd start to pray. Wonderfully — once we prayed, both of us were willing to let ourselves down. And what is letting down, if not the cross? But once we let down, we felt we could come to a decision. That is the Lord's keeping; that letting down is the cross — the cross is our secret.

How often I have my dignity, my consideration, my insistence — and from time to time I am also misunderstood. To be misunderstood is a painful thing. So what shall we do? No matter — vindication is in the Lord. What is it I need to practice? I need to practice returning to my spirit, experiencing the silent Christ.

1. By the great power of Christ's resurrection, conformed to the mold of His death

At Brother Lee's burial meeting, the nurses gave a testimony — that Brother Lee was the model God-man, that the home of Brother Lee was a home that exuded the fragrant savor of Christ. In their service to Brother Lee through the course, they very rarely heard Brother Lee and Sister Lee quarreling. One sister testified — Brother Lee very much enjoyed eating dumplings; but when he had eaten to a certain count, and wanted yet more, Sister Lee said, "That's enough, no more," and Brother Lee did not eat more. Another time, Brother Lee said it was too hot; Sister Lee said, no, it's too cold, add another quilt over you. Brother Lee likewise practiced submission, and slept peacefully. I feel this is the home of the model God-man; and I also believe that Brother Lee in his home was one who took the cross as his secret — that is, by the great power of Christ's resurrection, conformed to the mold of His death.

2. By the bountiful supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, in the home and before the family, live Christ and magnify Christ

Brother Lee placed on his desk a phrase: "In nothing I will be put to shame." (Phil. 1:20) Whether in daily life or while ill, our brother lived Christ and magnified Christ. His living of Christ was not only before the family — it was even before his co-workers, before doctors and nurses, that he lived out Christ. So our brother truly is our pattern. We must practice in our living to live Christ and magnify Christ.

3. Frequently confess to one another

For a household to be harmonious, confession is indispensable. Every household will, more or less, have friction or contention. If we are willing to practice confession, then the file between us can be cleared away. When we were newly married, the moment one was offended, the cold war began — silence in the kitchen. But once the cold war begins, Christ cannot get out of our home cooker; we really must practice frequent confession. If my words offended my sister-wife, I exercised that very night to apologize to her — and once I apologized, my sister-wife would forgive me. Out of love for the Lord and honor for authority — when problems arose, we would always apologize on the same evening; even when I was right, I would learn to apologize for my attitude. This is what we brothers should constantly practice — to confess often to one another, in order to bring peace into the household; and so, also, to manifest a harmonious family.

My sister-wife, too, often confesses, whether to me or to the children. I likewise practice confessing often, because we have all overstepped, all spoken too loudly, all let some inappropriate words come out, all let some flesh come out — none of us are these high-class persons; we are all still in the process of practice. So what is to be done? — Lay down your dignity; be a person who confesses. I really do encourage brothers and sisters: if you are willing to lay yourself down and confess to your spouse, your other half will quickly come up to love the Lord, and quickly be saved. Confession is a manifestation of the great power of God's redemption. Not only does it move us, not only does it give us light — we must also exercise to confess to the children. How often we hit, and we hit too far; we scold, and we scold too far. We discipline carrying anger, carrying flesh; we give discipline beyond the bound. In the discipline of children we must constantly receive light.

Brothers and sisters, the cross is the secret — this is true. So often we think this thing must be said; in truth it isn't a problem of any size, no big difficulty at all — it is just our nature that cannot bear letting that breath go. But once you touch the Lord, you say, "Forget it; no need to say it." Thank the Lord — in us is the chance of recovery. In any case, our home must learn to take the cross as the secret. I cannot count how many times I have confessed to my children; certainly more times to my sister-wife — for I am all too easily a half-octave higher, the voice a little louder, the rebuke a little stronger. When the Lord rebukes me, I should adjust myself — slowly practice a softer voice — softer still — slower — wait a moment longer. Amen — and the children are still very lovely. Yes! Amen! truly lovely. I'm not so spiritual either — but we can practice. Sometimes the fire rises again — wait, wait, call on, call on: "Oh! Lord ah, Amen."

4. Lay down your own prestige, dignity, and view — like the silent Christ — 1 Cor. 2:2–3

1 Cor. 2:2 — For I did not determine to know anything among you except Jesus Christ, and this One crucified. 1 Cor. 2:3 — And I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling;

In 1 Corinthians 2:2, Paul says: "Among you I determined not to know anything except Jesus Christ, and this One crucified." This shows that Christ is the lowly Christ, the silent Christ. When Paul came to Corinth, he was just like the silent Christ — and so was able to defeat the litigious flesh. In our family life, we likewise need to be like the silent Christ — to practice being a silent person. Believe in "silence prevails over sound." In husband-and-wife life, once a contention starts it doesn't end — but the moment you are willing to practice praying right there, to experience the lowly Christ, the silent Christ, the home cannot be quarreled into. Nor merely that — there will quickly be a good ending. In our family life, let us take the cross as our secret; and let us first practice it ourselves, not asking that our other half should be the first to practice. If I myself first practice taking the cross as the secret, this home can be healthy, this home can be harmonious. Not only do we have the church as the framework of life — we also have the cross as the very best secret of marital living.

IV. With God's Economy as the Goal

1. Having one and the same goal and ideal — God's economy — only thus can we be yoked together

Marriage is ordained of God, and we deeply believe that for the saints in the Lord, every household, every couple, is built up for us by God Himself. God built up our home not for the establishing of a sweet little love-nest; God built up our home to carry out His divine economy. So believers saved in Christ ought to have one recognition: "Our home is for the carrying out of God's economy." In other words, God's economy should be our common goal and ideal — only then can we be yoked together; if two oxen yoked together do not step in unison, they can in no way go forward. Likewise, couples in the Lord must have the same goal in order to advance with one accord. God's economy ought to be the very best goal of a couple. We should constantly declare: "Lord, our home has only one goal — God's economy."

In this, under the covering of the Lord, I am very thankful for my wife. When we first started fellowshipping, I admired very much the heart's desire she had — to spread the work to Saudi Arabia — for she felt that Taiwan was already rich enough. She had several places: first Taitung, second the east coast of the United States, third Saudi Arabia. Thank the Lord — she didn't make it to Saudi Arabia; she had not yet fellowshipped that all the way through. But she had the heart, and because we two share the same heart of God's economy as the goal, in many of our actions the Lord has kept us, with very little contention.

Our hearts' aim is the same; the home opens up the same way; the spreading is the same; even in the many times when work required me to relocate, we always prayed together and the matter was decided. How greatly does life as a couple require the grace of death-and-resurrection! But because of one common aim, sharing God's economy, sharing one goal, the Lord has kept our perspectives and our views in many areas almost identical — without our having said it. There are times when sisters come to her for fellowship, and after fellowshipping are still uneasy and come to seek me out — only to find we say the very same thing. Actually we have not necessarily fellowshipped about it; on the other hand, we have been fellowshipping for twenty years. Truly, not every matter needs to be conferred over — for we are willing together to take God's economy as our goal, the building up of the body of Christ as our goal, opening our home to serve the saints as our goal.

2. God's economy — the building up of Christ's universal body, the manifestation of the new man, the preparation of the bride — is the only goal of true value, and the only one abiding forever

God's economy is to dispense Himself into His chosen people, in order to bring forth a great household to express Him — and that household is the church, His body. So God's economy is to build up the universal body of Christ. Not only to build up a body — also to gain a universal new man. In these years, we really do see the universal new man more and more manifest on this earth. But God's economy is not only to build up the universal body, not only to manifest the universal new man — it is, beyond this, to prepare the bride; and for the bride to be properly attired as a warrior, to deal with God's enemy.

So in summary, to take God's economy as the goal means: on the one hand, building up the universal body, while on the one hand causing the universal new man to be manifested on this earth; on the one hand, attiring as the universal bride, while on the one hand also being the warrior to deal with God's enemy. These all are our only goal, our goal abiding forever.

3. The world and its lust are passing away; only he who does the will of God abides forever — 1 John 2:17

1 John 2:17 — And the world is passing away, and its lust, but he who does the will of God abides forever.

John the elder tells us: the world and its lust are passing away; only he who does the will of God abides forever. We deeply realize within ourselves — family riches must pass, deep learning cannot abide forever — only the will of God can abide forever. So we must be reminded: God's economy should be our unique, ever-abiding goal.

V. Devote Yourselves to Serve the Saints

The fifth point is to devote ourselves to serve the saints. Where the home is most sweet is in being able to be opened up — whether to let the saints come in for rest, or to go out and become someone else's satisfaction. Both are sweet. So the home is the sweetest unit for the feeding of others. Sometimes the two of you, before you even speak — just sitting in another saint's home — that person already receives supply; for everyone knows it is no small thing for a couple together to supply someone. It may be that as soon as the two of you arrive, we are enlightened — for we had just been quarreling. To have a household go out to feed others is most blessed; even receiving the saints, with the whole family waiting there for them, is itself a blessing.

The original of "devote" is to commit oneself to serve the saints. Our home is one that has committed itself to serve the saints — that is, designating ourselves to serve the saints. We need this kind of consecration: "Lord, we couple are willing to designate ourselves as Your disciples, devoted especially to serve the saints. Whenever the saints have a need, we will go out together; even at three in the morning, we will serve together." If we can establish ourselves and assign ourselves to serve the saints — how sweet that is! I believe — and have seen — among the saints, there will indeed be such homes serving the saints. In my student days, I really enjoyed the service in the local church there — household after household serving us. We went for meals, we went for fellowship — we needed feel no awkwardness about it, because they had designated themselves to serve the saints. Brothers and sisters, today is also our turn — your home and mine — to serve.

A healthy household is willing on its own to serve the saints — designating our home to be opened up for the saints. In these seventeen years past, we have opened up our home for the saints; almost every day there is coming and going. Thank the Lord, we deeply know — all this has brought us tremendous blessing; sometimes when the saints have not come, we even feel as though something is missing. In the past at the training center, the most painful stretch was when the trainees went home for vacation — for then only we were left at the meeting hall, walking about and seeing scarcely anyone, and it felt as though our own children had vanished.

For a household to have the saints often coming in, truly is a grace; and at the same time it requires special grace. Because we have our needs at home, our matters at home — but in any case I can testify that our home has actually been richly graced; just because we are willing to designate ourselves to be opened to the saints, to serve the saints, in fact we ourselves are also greatly cared for and served by many, many saints. Almost wherever we go we receive endless service. So this is mutual — by the end no one knows who is serving whom — only that we are filled with the Lord's grace.

1. A home regenerates a home; a home feeds a home; a home perfects a home — this is fruitful service

A husband and wife together going out to knock on doors and gain new ones; week by week with one accord going to feed the new ones, gradually perfecting men — this is the most fruitful service. In the new way, the great difference in caring for people, the great difference in serving the saints, lies in this: that we must do well in feeding people — not merely going to look in on them. In the matter of feeding, the couple needs an economy and an arrangement; in particular, husband and wife together feeding has the greatest effect. The couple goes together to care for one home; if the husband happens not to be home, only the sister is there, that may still be a feeding; or if only the brother is at home, the couple still goes together — that may also be a feeding. So in feeding, the couple serving together must surely be the most fitting; and this kind of service is the most fruitful service.

2. Serving the saints is cooperating with Christ's heavenly ministry — John 20:15–17

John 20:15 — Jesus said to her, Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking? She, supposing that He was the gardener, said to Him, Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away. John 20:16 — Jesus said to her, Mary! She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, Rabboni! (which means Teacher). John 20:17 — Jesus said to her, Do not touch Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brothers and say to them, I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.

According to our experience, when we earnestly learn to care for people, only then do we discover: "Lord, how lacking we are; we cannot shepherd people." It is at that time that we discover further: "It is not by myself that I can shepherd; rather, I need to cooperate with Christ's heavenly ministry. It is Christ who is able to feed; it is Christ who is able to perfect. Our service is no more than to coordinate with Christ's heavenly ministry." This recognition helps us, perfects us — that our feeding and our service no longer dare to depend on ourselves, that we more and more rely on Christ, and cooperate with His heavenly ministry to feed people.

3. Serving the saints leaves us no leisure to be negative or weak

In our practice, we have indeed discovered — when a couple has no new ones to care for, even when they want to go visit, they still diligently go out; but when there is some difficulty at home, or the couple is a bit out of sorts, the visit is very easily cancelled, the feeding is very easily stopped. But whenever they have a fixed spiritual son or daughter in their care, even when they go abroad, the feeding does not break. When one has fixed spiritual children needing to be fed, it is very easy to firmly persist; it is also rather easy to overcome negativity and weakness — not letting negative things linger in the home, but quickly dealing with them — so that one's feeding is not hindered or limited.

VI. With the Vital Group as the Commission

The vital group (活力排, huo-li-pai) is the best way of life in this present age — the most important practice and exercise in the Lord's Recovery in our age. Since the end of March, the churches in the central district together with one accord have been practicing the vital group exercise. We see that the vital group needs household by household to rise up in practice and implementation. We also deeply believe that practicing the vital group in the home makes it possible to keep going, to go further, and to receive more blessing of the Lord.

The vital group is two or three coming together, doing three things together: first, blending with one another — blended for the building up; second, praying with one accord — for people, for the church; third, acting together — to recover backsliding saints and to gain sinners. And these three things — especially with husband and wife as the most fitting, longest-term, and most basic unit.

The practice of the vital group is the only way of the Lord today; it is also the only way for the building up of the church. If we are willing to practice the vital group, the Lord will gain every couple, will gain this our home. Don't be in a hurry — start from enjoying the Lord. Each week, the couple should several times together do Pray · Research · Memorize · Speak, pray together, enjoy the Lord together, sing to the Lord together, and have fellowship over each other's matters; in this way the love of our couple will not be a natural love, but a love that rests in prayer. The natural loves all fade away with time; only the love of Christ keeps us our whole life.

We also hope that the couple recovers the prayer life, becoming the unit of prayer; no matter how busy, there must be the prayer; no matter what contention, exercise not to let it go past the day. Always before sleeping say, "Come! Let us pray!" Even if the other party is unwilling to pray with you, still practice saying "Amen." In any case, before we sleep, exercise the spirit and prepare well for the next day's coordinated action, for the need of the Lord's recovery — to recover men, to spread the gospel, that men may be saved. Beyond this, the couple may also bring along another single saint, or another household, to serve together — this is the very best coordination.

The sweetest, the highest matter, is to take the vital group as the commission. Hallelujah! My wife is not a cook; my wife is not a laundress; my wife is my vital partner — the one who prays with me, the one who fights spiritual warfare with me. Facing the difficulties of so many saints, how could I not "support one another"? The vital group ought to be our couple's commission. On this earth, whenever there is a wedding meeting, you must bless them: "Thank the Lord — on this earth one more vital group." From the very first day of marriage, let them know that their union is for the producing on earth of the basic unit of church-building — the vital group. Our home is the basic unit of building up; our home is the unit of warfare in prayer; our home is the unit that goes out to serve men — this is the vital group.

The vital group should become the commission of every household. The brother cannot serve all alone, running ahead, becoming an elder, while the sister keeps retreating, sitting in the back row, sitting in the nursery, and finally not coming to the meeting at all. The brother cannot run all the way to Zion alone while the sister stays at home in retirement. No! — there must be "supporting one another." If you, brother, are running toward Zion, please come back home — you must surely supply the sister, that the couple may serve together, fight together — this is the most beautiful, the highest service. Brothers, do you regard your sister as your vital partner? do you regard your brother as the unique overcomer? Brothers, you must say: "We are together becoming overcomers." For once one or two children come, the sister will say, "All right! you be the overcomer; I'm out of options; when you go up, may I just grab a hold of your trouser leg as I follow up. Pity me a little!"

I sometimes think — actually it isn't certain. I see the sisters more easily become overcomers, because just from caring for the children they mature very quickly; in the very process of caring for children there is much enlightenment given. We often hear: "Lord, why am I so broken?" But we very rarely hear a brother say: "Lord, why am I so broken?" I'm afraid that, if we don't practice the vital group well, in the future the sister will be raptured and the brother grasping after her trouser leg — and not necessarily the brother raptured with the sister grasping his trouser leg.

"Holding hands" (in Taiwanese, qian-shou) — that is a fine word — going forward together. The vital group is our commission; it is also what the Lord wants. Peter says husband and wife are the unit of prayer, the unit of warfare. From Acts to the Epistles, we can see that they cared for the church by the household, served the saints by the household — this is our commission.

1. Husband and wife are, in the divine economy, the most basic, long-term partners of prayer and warfare

The practice of the vital group is a spiritually mysterious warfare; it requires more prayer. Brothers and sisters working in the same company can pray together; that is good — but it is nothing like as convenient as a couple meeting daily at home praying together. Within the church, we may have the same special service, or be in the same small group, and we come together to pray; even so, that is nothing like as enduring or as convenient as the couple's prayer. For a long stretch, my sister-wife and I practiced and implemented prayer together — half an hour or more in earnest prayer every day. We then discovered: the more we prayed, the more we loved to pray. When we had any spare time, we would set aside unfinished business and hurry home, to enjoy our warfare prayer with the sister.

I believe many brothers and sisters have such an experience. The couple really is the best partner of prayer and warfare. Peter in his epistles tells us — to remove the obstacle to prayer is to say that a couple ought, of itself, to have a life of prayer; so he is not exhorting us not to pray, but to remove the obstacle between husband and wife in prayer.

2. Husband and wife are, in God's economy, the most basic blending object

In the practice of the vital group, two important points are: one is intimate, open fellowship; the other is much, thorough prayer. Husband and wife are the best blending object. We often hear brothers and sisters say — in the coordination of the church life, husband and wife are the most basic, most close-at-hand coordination. Sisters often say, "Any other brother — easy enough for me to submit to; just my own brother-husband I cannot get along with." And brothers also say, "Many other sisters seem so lovely; just my own sister is often not lovely."

But look deeper: if we couple cannot have blending and building up between us, we are even less likely to have real building up with the brothers and sisters. You may say, "No! Although it isn't easy to come together with my other half to pray and to blend, still our home coordinates very well — we have no problem with blending." Yet I believe, if you had the opportunity to live with the brothers in close quarters — to live with them more closely still — you would discover that building up is not easy. So I feel — only when the couple is able to practice blending well, will the blending succeed in every place you go, without hindrance.

We rarely hear of a couple having very good blending who cannot easily blend with others. So the couple is the most basic blending object — our blending starts from the practice of the couple. Thank the Lord — if our blending still needs strengthening, may the Lord give us grace; let us start practicing from this training, looking on our spouse as the very best blending object.

3. Husband and wife are, in God's economy, the most fitting action coordination

The vital group should not be static — it is a dynamic life. Couples practicing the vital group should be full of activity, full of going out to feed, of going to care for people; not only action, but coordination. In times past, in our church life, it often happened that brothers cared for brothers and sisters for sisters; today we must practice — the couple is the best action coordination — going together to feed, going together to care, going together to cherish-as-a-nursing-mother. We believe that with this kind of practice, the vital group can be brought practically into household after household.

These last several months, my sister-wife and I have practiced the vital group together. Besides practicing Pray · Research · Memorize · Speak, we also have a very important point: we practice firm, persistent feeding, household by household. The more we feed, the more we treasure and prize my sister-wife's new creation; the more we feed, the more we sense our marital life becoming joyful and joyful again. In times past, when we cared for the children, the only thing we ever talked about was the children; now in our conversation, those whom we feed have a place. One couple we have already fed for two months — now there is a barrier of baptism to break through, so we have a specific prayer for their breaking through this baptism-barrier. Another household: the wife is saved, the husband not yet — though he has begun to pray, there is still need for breakthrough on his own brothers' criticism and judgment of his believing the Lord; so we have a specific prayer over this point. Another couple: the sister has begun reading the Life-Study course for several weeks — the more she reads, the more she thirsts; her exercise of spirit, and her thirst for the Lord's word, is in no way less than ours; so we must perfect her even more deeply.

These three households are in our heart — hard to forget, always on our mind. We greatly enjoy the once-a-week fixed time of going to feed them. And these three households also treasure this time deeply; if there are special matters, they intentionally clear them aside, valuing the time of being fed. So the more we practice, the more we sense — in this age, the couple should be the best vital companion; and our home should be the best vital unit.

The six points above are the marks of the family of faith. Our mark is faith. We have things hoped for; we have things not seen; we and the men of the world are not the same — we are a class running in another direction; we are running that race; we are running toward these six marks. May the Lord gain us! Amen!

— End of Message Two —

Ch. 1 Ch. 3